this doesn't feel right.

what day is it?
and in what month?
this clock never seemed so alive.
i can't keep up,
and i can't back down.
i've been losing so much time.

somehow pessismism always finds a way to smoke itself in.

have i embarked on the wrong path? up till now, i have no idea why i chose to do banking & finance of all things back then, but i know i didn't want accounting for nuts so yea.. ackk, sometimes i stop to think if i'm doing what i want now, and what i'm doing now is what i'm gonna do in future? i can't figure out.. so i make myself believe yea i'm doing the right one and i'm gonna continue digging it so that i don't see cash going down the drain..

"people with goals succeed because they know where they are going." i never know where exactly i wanna go.. indecisiveness chained on me.. and my passion in certain areas are diminished by harsh reality.

i'm just wasting my time off again and again.. for umpteen times that i've washed off from my mind what i've contemplated to do.. and yea, i've gotten used to not giving tuitions.. my kid's asking me to decide when to resume, how, i don't feel like doing anything now, in the months ahead or even years ahead. but i want the extra cash to seek after that dream aye.

a dose of enthusiasm should come in handy now.

i'm running short of breath, i can't catch up with that dream, it seems too faraway.. i'm draining out..

everything i do isn't beautiful.

we shouldn't be where we are.. if only we had perservered back then, now we'd prolly have been nearer.. 早くネべルランドへ行くね！今生活がとても嫌いだ。超嫌いだ！そして、試験が頑張るよ．．

one day i'll break the boundary | 14:45